You are feeling strangely skippy today, like gravity took the day off! You greet people with a smile that is not plastic but recyclable. If you were not in a centrally air-conditioned enclosure, you are sure you would hear birds chirping outside.
This rare combination of light-headedness and firm-footedness is befitting the occasion. For today, you shall have the following conversation:
You: I am leaving
Him: (barely looks up)
You: I…I am leaving, for good
Him: (now looks up with a quizzical expression, it is still not worthy of him opening his mouth)
You: (not expecting any better) I need you to sign these papers.
Him: What is this? (Holding up the papers of separation)
You: (having prepared for this day and moment) As I said, I am leaving and these papers will make it official
Him: But why…how?
You: (wanting to savor the moment, take a long pause)
Him: (…after a flabbergasted interlude) please sit down
You: (with rehearsed precision) I want this Friday to be my last here
He; off course, is your boss and the papers are those of your resignation.
Head Slave (HS) is at a loss for words, as is very common with him. But today he is also fumbling. The word leverage suddenly makes more sense to you.
Watching HS go through all 5 stages of grief in expedited fashion makes it worth all the waiting. He throws predictions, promises and the odd apology at you. His persuasion goes from hard logic to soft appeals, the most amusing being, ”Stay back for me!”
‘Hah!’ you go in your head. But on the outside you stay strangely calm, like a seasoned Lama. All the ‘funny’ resignation letters and cartoons you’ve seen on the net seem childish to you now.
You feel neither the need nor the obligation to explain, clarify or confess. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction.
”I appreciate the offer sir but I have made up my mind. Now if you will excuse me, I will send across a soft copy of the letter. Thank you.”
In utter civility you find a befitting rebuke.
You walk out with the tune to “I will survive” ringing in your head.