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Archive for the ‘Interpersonal’ Category

Call Me Sam

In Boss, HR, humor, Interpersonal, Office on July 12, 2011 at 15:00

You wear Wal Mart shirts, Woodland shoes (sneakers on Fridays) and have Nescafe…or whatever is available. He wears Allen Solly forced fits, Red Tapes that thunder with each step and sips green tea.

One would think you guys are at least from different neighborhoods if not a different geographies altogether. But actually, you practically grew up on the same street.

He calls you Stan and insists you call him Sam. He was, at best, a slow starter. You were, on your worst day, above average. Or so you believed.

But a couple of promotions and one round of restructuring later, Sam-the Man has arrived. What he lacks in spunk and stature, he makes up with the length of this back rest and per day allowance while on tour.

For Sam is now the General Manager…of support services…but GM none the less. You; are still ‘Chief Manager’, the Al Gore of managerial races.

He calls you Stan in a way that is patronizing and condescending at the same time. You manage to call him ‘Sir’ and ‘Mr. Estello’ in a mixture of badly disguised defiance and resentment…which is why he insists you call him Sam.

Sam is a background irritant. Overtime, you internalize it, learn toFore! tune him away. But when he calls you on a Sunday, you lose it. On a good Sunday, you play ping-pong. Sam called you from the luxury of his newly acquired Golf club membership. It is not a business call, not even a follow-up call. It is the worst kind of call of all, a ‘courtesy call’. Just in case you missed the news, the man yelling ‘Fore’ in the background puts all doubts to rest. You want to tell him to mind his golf club so it doesn’t stub his toe. But you don’t. You are just left to stare at your lonely ping-pong bat. That is when you know it’s time to upgrade Sam from an annoyance to a purgative, a propellant to shake you out of your procrastination. In the long run, you will thank him.

- J.

Cube and Cupid

In humor, Interpersonal, Office, Office Romance on July 3, 2011 at 17:59

The thing about bright spots is, they always appear if you look for them hard enough. They drive and motivate like no other incentive.

After months of futile attempts, you finally began to make it for the 8:15 am bus. Not through doggedness and ridiculously early alarms but because she takes the same bus. Yes, she is one person you let cut in line at the photo copier. You never ask her to return the pens you lend her, even staplers, making her the only one with this privilege. You are the first one to notice if she is absent for a day. If you momentarily resent the fact that she did not tell you about her plans yesterday only to slap yourself on the back of your head a minute later…

As obvious as an office romance

…you, my friend, have a case of  office crush.

I would say office romance but modesty is an art that has to be practiced forcefully. Sure there are stats about how common office romances are and how a large number of office romances end up in (gulp) marriage. Many others are lawsuits waiting to happen.

But you don’t give a rusted paper clip about that, do you? What you want to know is where she was a few months ago? Has she just returned from a ‘Get Gorgeous’ style ‘reality show’? Are you feeling the effects of the dearth of a social life? Is this what they call ‘The Mermaid Effect’? One thing is for sure, you do not want to look like a stupid college kid with a crush.

Office would be more boring without Amber

You purposely miss the 8:15 bus for the next couple of days. Things start looking as pedestrian as they were and as they really are. You miss the spring in your step. But you are happy to have realized that a routine life can be more than bearable with a bright spot. She…will probably not even notice you are gone.

- J.

‘What was your name again?’

In humor, Interpersonal, Office, Office Romance, Organisation on June 21, 2011 at 04:13

“You spoke with my boss, Mr. Doodlesberg?”

You know the guy mentioned some normal name but it just did not register.

“Yes”, you reply, “I’ll send that mail right away to…”

“I am Mr. Hanselboy.”

“Mister…?” – You want one more chance.

Mr. Hanselboy ,” he says matter-of-factly.

 Snapping finger while trying to remember something never seems to help

It has finally happened.

.

.

.

.

Your brain’s contact list has reached full capacity. To remember any more new names, you will have to delete some old ones.

Between online communities and syncing multiple devices, you can’t put a name to a face without it being on a screen. Staring at person’s chest to read his/her name off the ID card is not a good idea either. Memory tools like linking morphological and racial peculiarities to names is too much to handle for today’s hyper-propah environment. Adding them on FB is a scary thought.

When all fails, resort to pen and paper

Maybe, you could actually physically write down the names. If only, you could find a pen, and then, some paper, you could avoid situations such as:

“How could you lose the pen drive?”

“I did not lose it, I lent it to someone.”

“Someone who?”

“You know; the new guy with the eye thing.”

“No, I don’t know the new guy with the eye thing.”

“Well, there are so many of them…”

Pneumonics

The one with the glasses is called Bhavesh for 'B" flipped 90 degrees looks like glasses!

Perhaps, you are not outgoing as they say. But how social can you be? With 400 employees and an attrition of 20%, you are looking at remembering 2 new names every working day for the rest of your career!

And if you are contributing to the attrition yourself, you have to learn an entirely new set of names. “This is Mr. X, this is Mr. Blah and that is Miss. Liz,” says your new boss as he debuts you at your new gallows. “This is like a marriage reception, you just have to smile. Do not hope to remember any names,” he tells you on the side lines. ‘If only more people were memorable, like Liz,’ you tell your dreamy-eyed self.

 

- J.

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