slavesincorporated

Salary Slip

In Hopsquatch, HR, humor, nine to five, Office humor, Wage Slaves on October 10, 2011 at 03:58

Here it is, in black and white. It would be in shades but you know how expensive color printing is. There is something about seeing your remuneration (hope I spelt that correctly) in utter specifics. The surrealism of the experience contrasts with the placid demeanor of the numbers. You are, of course, face-to-face with your salary slip (sic).

This is it. Five days a week (sometimes six), nine hours a day (sometimes twelve) and unquantifiable brain damage gets you only this much. How can one make a decent living on this? More importantly, would you know a decent living if it you in the Bahamas?

Long repressed panic is finally setting in. You should do something about this, but what? Should you start a twitter campaign or a facebook page? Seems juvenile. Should you take it up with HR (seriously)? You signed the deal yourself. You would only be making a (bigger) fool of yourself if you raise a query.

 

Damn those lawyers who draft employment contracts with the ‘fine print’. They must be part of Lucifer’s Legions; for God has surely stopped residing in the details. Maybe you should groom your son to be a lawyer to take revenge on the world/society.

You want to tear, crumple and other wise mangle the salary slip. But printing is at a premium and you remember something about a ‘Save trees’ campaign you had to sign recently.

The thought of the last bus out of town departing in another ten minutes re-introduces you with gravity. Momentary rage having been tamed like a prison riot, you carefully fold and keep the salary slip in a folder. Three consecutive proofs of bondage are required to change galleys.

– J.

  1. […] dose of dumb-down wisdom (‘Quote of the day’) greets you every time you sign in to view your salary slip (a depressing exercise in […]

  2. No, we don’t get it on paper – just posted somewhere on the intranet.

    And that’s how we get our performance feedback/ pay increases too.

  3. everyone should start their own business. (i just want to see what society would be like if that happened.)

  4. It is, indeed, a sorry state of affairs, when the only proof of our labor is the pay check–not the satisfaction we get from what we’ve done. How many of us work because we love what we do?

    I remember my grandfather, a plumber, who would drive me by a huge building and say with so much pride that he helped lay the piping for that building. You don’t see that anymore. That’s sad. That’s another big chuck of what makes us human ripped away from us.

    Your post is clever and witty, but behind it is that sad truth. That’s what makes your blog so good.

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