You can’t remember anybody wanting to know so much about you. Age, allergies, occupation, orientation, vegetarian/non-vegetarian/vegan, musical preferences, whether you believe in aliens and your stand on the Kennedy assassination. You are sure you are not in a dream being interviewed by Oprah. You would have felt better or at least had better clothes on.

What you are wearing is close to rags and what you are feeling is close to rage. Yet you have to do this for the only other option is travelling alone and bugged through this world. No, you are not a reluctant hen in a speed dating nest. You are trying to car pool. Even though you are not yet comfortable with car pooling being both a noun and a verb, you are trying.

Between marathon snarls and dearer barrels, you are mortified to step out of the house. But reach the galley you must, preferably on time. So you brave pooler forums and ‘get started instructions’. If you are not convinced yet, carbon footprint calculations are thrown at you for good measure. Not only are you driving towards poverty and bad credit ratings you are also choking Gaia. Fill out our form you stupid polluting pig is what the site screams at you.

So you start filling out what feels like an interrogation before eventual relegation to the No Fly List.

No smoking

No discussing religion

No coming late

No consumption of food, fodder or liquids

….

You realize this is going to drain you in more ways than one. While you could use a more affordable commute, the last thing you need is another group of forced formal relations. You ctrl+w poolyourcar.com and confirm your bank balance. Carbon footprint my dusty boot space!

–          J.