slavesincorporated

Zoom In, Zone Out

In Interpersonal, Meeting, Office humor on May 25, 2020 at 19:32

Man is a social animal but the ego is highly anti-social. Most of life seems paradoxical and there never seems to be enough time to sit and ponder. Well, now there is time, lot’s of it. But it seems to drift away. And that is boredom defined: Finding each passing moment excruciating and yet not knowing where all the time went.

It is already 20 minutes into the online meeting and they still haven’t got past the pleasantries. You want to switch off your video and be free to dig your nose or just stare at the fan. But that wouldn’t be polite now would it? Things have definitely changed under lockdown but your employer is still trying to hold on to the old ways. A mixture of nostalgia and denial. But one must admit, Zoom calls are very realistic, down to people being late and nothing of substance being discussed for close to two hours.

It is a meeting that has already been rescheduled four times. In the real world colleagues would have compelling alibis for not being able to make it. Dentists appointments, in-laws visiting, son’s football practice on Wednesdays. Arun would always claim he had to go with his son for football practice but he would end up attending the meetings anyway…custody battles are tough. You would think online meetings would be easier. But people still find ways to keep themselves busy and hammered, anything but sitting still with their thoughts. Now they suddenly feel the urge to connect with their distant siblings, attend Zoomba sessions and the PTA meetings have also moved online

Since you are still being paid, while being in shorts, you can’t complain. But greater than the mockery of productivity is the horror of peeking into the lives of your colleagues. You always suspected they had a life but without all the social media filters, it looks very surreal, like a hacker movie.

The broken switchboards, mosquito lamps, kids fighting in the background, dogs peeking in, bad camera angles compounding bad hair days. Pat has a Swiss Alps background wallpaper but he was always pretentious. You finally see that the old man from accounts actually has legs! He is moving around more at his house than he ever did in office, the only image you have of him is behind a cubicle. And you are glad Arun actually has a house. You would always see him changing clothes in office, especially on Wednesdays. Actually you are sort of glad to see everyone in their humble avatars. Even Head Slave, as he tries to sound spontaneous while clearly reading from another window. You can see the reflection in his glasses.

Since everyone is being themselves you also take a break unannounced and come back towards the end of the meeting. They are still exchanging pleasantries. One of them even suggested playing Ludo, on company time! It is met with no objection but thankfully no interest either. It is clear that there is no work to be done. But man is a social animal. And thankfully, loneliness is often stronger than the ego.

  • Punit Pania

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