slavesincorporated

Archive for the ‘true enlightenment’ Category

2012 in Omnishambles

In Blogging, Office humor, SlavesInc, true enlightenment, work life balance on December 31, 2012 at 21:31

If you were to make a flip book of yourself sitting at your desk through the seasons, you would get changing surroundings and decor against an unchanging expression on your face. Quarters, interns and festivals come and go. You and your desk endure. But don’t pat yourself on the back yet.

Seasons
Enduring is just the start of it. Each year brings with it a realization of the pedestrian nature of things and the Olympian effort needed to break free of it. It is like the beginning of a sequel where what you thought was the climax turns out to be just foreplay. And like all sequels, you don’t want to have one too many, lest it starts to stink.

superstorm       Vote Gangnam

Between Superstorms and superstyles, the world almost ended. At least it was fun to think for a while that it would. But the best we could get was Omnishambles.

DKR

2013 will hold similar promise for both the mundane and the magnificent. There will be rickety printers, pointless meetings and machine coffee to keep you busy. There will be Mondays, multi-tasking and motivation (sic) to keep you distracted. You will find humor in new places while some of the old stuff won’t even seem funny anymore.

Greatness v/s obscurity, Open skies v/s fluorescent lighting, Freedom to fail v/s Stress to succeed. You will feel like an ant that has to move a mountain, a twig that has to resist bending in a storm, a pawn too small to matter in a system too big to fail.

bankersThere will be times when you will miss the good old ignorance, the days of clueless pursuit and nights of dreamless sleep. Innocence lost is not a big price to pay. For life begins with awareness.

Master Oogway

 

2012 SlavesInc. Annual Report.

Here’s a patronizing excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 25,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 6 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

– J.

Born To Follow

In Cause, conspiracy theories, humor, Office humor, Organisation, SlavesInc, true enlightenment, vitamin d deficiency, Wage Slaves on December 5, 2011 at 12:37

God made procrastination so we could sit around, admire nature, bask in the sun and never be deficient in Vitamin D. You would so like to do that. But having come eons past the hunter gatherer stage, you have to earn your living; simply being born does not count. It is difficult. Some overcome this primeval urge to bask; and harden into modern day achievement. Others end up doing jobs.

Your profound insight comes from staring long enough at the most unremarkable of places, you desk. Littered everywhere are hieroglyphs of your employer and its ultra noble mission. They also make some serious profits. But that is more of a byproduct of their lofty ethics and dizzying ‘goals’. You may not remember what grade your kid studies in. But if someone slaps you out of sleep in the middle of the night, you can recite your company theme and pledge without blinking.

You are not a memory gymnast nor are you an exceptionally committed slave. It is just that the branding is hard to miss. It is everywhere, like the skulls on Skull Island. Troopers have their fatigues. You have caps, pens, mugs and even underwear identifying your enslaver. It creeps up on you till you are a part of it. And you play along; it is not like you have some great plans of your own anyway.

You do not resist when this branding is taken one step further. You are the first one to start wearing a badge of the new corporate logo over your breast pocket, close to the heart. Years of subliminal messaging has to be overwritten here. So you act like a good sport and give up thoughts of vain rebellion. At least, they are not printing bar codes or inserting chips in you, yet.

But you do make a note to yourself:

You had better start working for a cause of your own; else people will make you work for theirs.

Hamster Paradise

In conspiracy theories, Head Slave, Hiearchy, humor, SlavesInc, true enlightenment, Uncategorized, Wage Slaves on November 28, 2011 at 13:34

Have you ever got the feeling that you are paddling away in a trance? Like a long drawn hypnosis that is hard to tell from reality. Like some Art of Living mojo you heard while on the herb. Has to be some out of the ordinary explanation that keeps you slogging away in the ordinary. How else could one mire in this daily drudgery till death or old age prevail?

There must be thousands if not millions of hamsters like you at it every day. You cannot fathom how your drone-like paper pushing ultimately makes business happen, generates revenue, satisfies share holders and credits your monthly ration.

Its 2 pm in the afternoon. And it is just like you to drift into a heady day dream post lunch.

Just when you think you are on to something…the phone rings to snap you out of realization. It is Head Slave and he wants you in this cabin with the Acme contract. You rush in trying to collect your thoughts only to find HS even more disoriented.

‘We have 9,000 employees in 73 countries and we can’t get an auditorium entry?’ HS was demanding of his secretary.

‘They have been all booked for a week sir,’ explained Sec.

‘I am Vice President of this enterprise,’ reasoned HS.

‘Sir, there are 123 Vice Presidents globally, Head Office had only reserved seats for 90,’

In visible disbelief, HS turns to you. He keeps staring having forgotten why he had called you in. At this time, he would probably have trouble recalling your name too. Finding HS in this very pedestrian situation, you too forget what you were there for.

After an awkward few seconds, you wisely step out and slip into the comfort of your pointless but peaceful existence.

Knowledge is power but ignorance is bliss.

J.

SlavesIncgeist

In Blogging, Office, Office humor, SlavesInc, true enlightenment on September 25, 2011 at 22:42

SlavesInc has been nominated for the prestigious Versatile Blogger Award

Very little is expected of you. Motivation comes from speakers. Help comes from books. Management comes from training programs and thinking is done by hats. You just need to punch in and out. You are paid enough to keep up with inflation but not enough to retire.

You Can Win, The SecretIt is not a bad deal. And it’s not like you have seen better ones. But it leaves you strangely dissatisfied, like primates bred in captivity.

Between performance ratings and working on weekends, you realize the only one who can help you is yourself and off course, some friends. Breaking the perimeter of captivity will require some elaborate scheme, like Prison Break.

As in scripts, you need some lucky breaks, like jet packs in Super Mario. You need to swim against the tide of non-believers and nay-sayers into the pristine waters of realization.

And nothing works like Vindication:

 9th September, 2011

Management would call it positive re-enforcement, we call it community. It is the reason why worker unions, fan clubs and tribute bands exist and thrive.

You don’t have to be Neo from The Matrix, just Peter Gibbons from Office Space will do. You don’t have to be weirdly unique either. Most of what we call unique is like a differently colored stick figure in a stock photo. You just have to be crazy enough to look beyond the cubicle and sane enough not to send out a farewell note laced with expletives.

__________________________________________________________

SlavesInc was launched in January of this year with a gusto I don’t remember having for anything else. Before Freshly Pressed or even my friends and acquaintances started reading the blog, Lorna was a regular visitor. Though there was no bogging down SlavesInc, Lorna’s comments greatly re-enforced my belief in the content of this site. It makes me think of all the blogs I have enjoyed reading but left without commenting. The writer would never know someone read the whole deal and appreciated it (I am talking pre Like-button era)

Now, Lorna has done me one better by nominating SlavesInc for ‘The Versatile Blogger Award’.  This award follows a pass the baton routine. Besides being a major motivator and smile-inducer, The Versatile Blogger Award also makes you realize what was missing in school, college and now, at work.

Apart from the merriment, VBA comes with a set of customs:

  • Copy and paste the Award Image to your “Acceptance Post” .
  • Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you.
  • Disclose 7 random facts about yourself.
  • Notify the bloggers I nominate for this award

So here goes…7 random Slave’s facts:

  1. SlavesInc was originally intended to be a comic strip. (Watch this space)
  2. The sign-off ‘- J’ was meant to be a central character in a comic strip theme. Over 34 posts so far, it has come to become more of a pen name and it suits the look and tone of the blog
  3. The very first post, Morning High, was meant to be a one-off post on my older blog. But so enthralling were the results that I spun it off into a blog by itself
  4. Offline/in real life, I am a slave whose existence resembles though does not mirror the logs of SlavesInc
  5. Many of the posts are suggested by fellow slaves who see kinship in this account of their not-so unique multitude routine
  6. I am not a harrowed, stressed, diabetic desk monkey (yet). I work out and I carry 7-10 small but frequent meal containers to office
  7. But I am not the sporty-type either. I only learnt to ride a bi-cycle after I was 21 years old. Learnt it without falling down even once, long legs you see.

Nominations: I am guilty of not reading many blogs. Recently, I realized that I have not even subscribed to Lorna’s wonderful blog. So I am aiming for 10 but I may fall short:

Lafemroar

Being single, being crazy and a lot of things in between

From The Fluffy Cloud

A beautiful collection of skillfully penned short short stories

Vici Mia Vita d’oliva

A blog about Olive Oil! Delightfully celebrative and well written

Mostly Bright Ideas

Humble and humorous churnings from a veteran writer

Oodles of doodles

A canoodling of smile-inducing doodles

High on Coffee

A book in the making

Boring, Banal and not at all Bodacious

Aptly titled and ably worded, it is described as ‘pursuing a career in professional unemployment’ by the author himself.

IMONTHEBANDWAGON

A colorful log of a band on the road

TEStazyk

A published author writes about living on different continents and reforestation

THE WARPED PRISM

A photography blog that is a treat for the eyes and fodder for the mind

Deep as a Birdbath

Earthy and likable accounts of an affable life

My Pencilart

Reclusive but pleasing, rendered by the humble lead pencil

Okay, we actually have more than 10 so far and it has taken some doing. I will stop here since I would only want to mention blogs I can vouch for. Also, I am sticking to WordPress blogs.

Thank you fellow slaves and kind readers for your interest and thank you Lorna for supporting SlavesInc.

– J.

Having put it Down

In chirp, day of creation, Hopsquatch, humor, Monday, Office, pontification, Resignation, true enlightenment, vintage car on July 31, 2011 at 23:53

The spring in your step and chirp in your voice is new. But you are used to it already. You greet friend, stranger and co-worker alike. Your average use of the word ‘no’ has dropped to record lows.

Anger has never known you and Benevolence finds a new friend in you. Position, pontification and other terrestrial phenomenon drop out of your field as gravity fails to keep up with you. It may seem like you have achieved Nirvana but unlike true enlightenment, your bliss is temporary, time-bound. And you know it.

But it doesn’t stop you from feeling re-christened; such is the feeling of deliverance. You no longer feel tight under the collar or weak at the knees. For having put your papers down, you are a free bird…till you move into your new galley.

You find people on your contact list you have never called. You try clothes from your closet that have never seen the light of day. With your hair down and your spirits up, you turn a blind eye to the calendar…until, the day before. Realization hits you like gravity hits an out-of fuel airplane.

Realization finally hits you

Like a convict on the last day of parole and a vintage car out for its final spin, you feel anxiety set in. It brings its friends denial, fear and depression along. You rue all the occasions you cursed time for being sluggish. There are so many movies to see, places to go and people to meet. But you can’t, for tomorrow is a befitting first day. Monday, Satan’s follow-up to the Day of Creation.

Having reached the stage of acceptance, you feel not defeat but purpose. Only if you start again will you get to the next interlude of fleeting bliss.

– J.