slavesincorporated

Posts Tagged ‘teleportation’

Office Party

In Friday, humor, Interpersonal, Office humor, Party on January 6, 2012 at 01:39

Your body has gotten used to the forced comfort and your mind is abuzz. Your senses are being blasted from all directions but without any coherence. Some faces are familiar, others a blur. Some are hard on the eyes. But you are having a good time. You had better be having a good time now…

It is the office after party. It lies somewhere between dull and dicey, interpersonal and intrusive. It starts off as an extended Friday and can end as a social disaster. It is not the most screenworthy of parties but nothing like a free tab to get slaves to a rally.

Three tall ones down, you are hit by sudden clarity. You don’t feel so lost anymore. It is like your entire office got teleported to a bar. All the characters: Head Slave, the Cribber, the bright spark, loose fit Larry are there. They are in the same position/disposition and posture you are used to seeing them: behind a desk, slouching over a screen, cup in hand, hand scratching head and so on. Only the lights are not as bright and the coffee machine is replaced by a beer dispenser.

The topics of conversation are also the same, only louder due to the crappy music and intoxication on the house. Fourth one down, things start moving in slow motion. Like a Guy Ritchie movie, you can foresee the near future. You are pretty sure the cribber will continue to crib till somebody gathers the courage or the blood alcohol level to tell her to STFU. You can also see that too-tight Tim and the fat guy whose name you can never remember are going to come to blows. Meanwhile, the intern is being provoked by well-meaning seniors to chug one more glass which he will puke out any moment.

In an instant, you decide to press the eject button. Dragging your coat behind, you slip away like a cat. As the door closes behind, you can almost visualize vomit smearing colleagues and onlookers, punches landing on rounded cheeks and pot bellies and the choicest words ringing out over the music.  You could have stayed back and made a video. But you are not a big fan of YouTube.

You so need to meet new people.

–          J.